So as a refresher; I’m Lindsey, fiancé of Tomas from Couch Potato Brothers. Upon meeting him and eventually dating him, I was as far from a gamer as one could get. Over time, we have found ways in which we sort of intertwine the non-gamer and gamer lifestyle into one! As I revealed in my last blog post, there were a few vital steps for me to reach this point of harmony; relate to their gaming (we all have our own escapes from reality), recognize that your escape from reality doesn’t have to be the same (it isn’t bad to have your own interests and to do your own thang), and realistically, nobody needs a constant escape from reality so eventually you can reunite and share your individual experiences!
I briefly touched the idea of feeling more independent in doing all of this. I basically want to touch on this more because this independence actually helped me a lot in my life as a whole.
It’s kind of pathetic, but I have always been a fairly clingy person. I love fiercely and where some people have an innate ability to, you know, NOT see someone when you’re sick of them; I just don’t. People are my favorite and least favorite (ironically enough) beings in the universe. Tomas is one that surely makes me happy. So yeah, basically. It took some adjusting having to let him go for a bit ;).
But once I did I couldn’t help but feel good about it.
Okay so. I’m sort of a weird adult/child hybrid so I have multiple jobs in which I teach 3-5 year olds and I also am a photographer. What this means is I am absolutely going to have a buttload of inescapable human interactions daily. I love that. People, man. They’re the best. But, along with this, I’m constantly running and talking with people. I never get to just stop, get away from other people, and to just do the things I love.
So when I would get home from work and Tomas is playing a video game, it began as sort of a let-down and grew to excitement. It helps me know that this is a great time for me to have a moment to stop life and just do what I want! Whether it’s editing pictures, playing the piano, riding my bike, visiting the family, or just sitting and hanging out. It actually ends up great and it helps me to ensure I stay passionate about the things I love despite how busy I may get.
Then when I’m doing these things it’s interesting to have experiences that Tomas isn’t present for; I almost enjoy it on occasion because after I can share what I’ve learned and experienced and I get to reflect more on what I did/learned (which is my favorite; I reflect too much. It’s almost horrible). It’s just very liberating to do what I want; it’s not like Tomas dampens any experience, because obviously I enjoy his presence. But I can literally do anything at that point in time and even if I spend literally 3 hours trying to learn an Outkast song (not even kidding), I can feel just fine about that (as I’m not wasting anyone’s time listening to me trip over keys and groan) and then I can share the end result as opposed to the horrendous work in progress.
I guess my main point is to capitalize on that time to yourself that being with a gamer allows you. Or a significant other with any hobby, really. Embrace the fact that your partner has hobbies and pursuits that you aren’t familiar with. Be okay enough with yourself to pursue your own interests. Taking time for yourself betters you, and a better you makes for a better relationship.
At the very least, you can take comfort in the fact that he isn’t out on the town every night. Tomas is usually a hermit, so it’s never really hard trying to figure out where he is. 🙂
So, yeah. Eventually I quit loathing his playing video games over time. Following that, I would often spend plenty of time editing pictures/perusing the internet/just plain sitting and doing basically nothing while cuddling up next to my Mr. as he plays his game. At first I was entirely uninterested in seeing what he was doing and I would just ignore the game and do my own thing.
But over time I would glance up and I began to develop general opinions about specific games AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS.
Which leads me to the next post for you all:
Games I like, games I love, and games I love to hate…